Ice Breaker

It's endlessly tiring to meet people. I may not be awkward, but I tend to give people the wrong impression.
Let me give you and example: the first thing I said to my best friend was, "I'll sleep with you if you buy me animal crackers".

So, here's my ice breaking story!

One day I was feeling really unhappy after a fight with my boyfriend. I was crying as I walked downtown. I guess I must have been an easy target for perverts, because a creepy round, Hispanic man pulled near me in this prehistoric looking van (the kind that your parents warn you about) and said, "Hey, where are you going gorgeous? Can I give you a lift?". Of course I was freaking out. I've seen enough Criminal Minds/ FBI, law enforcement related TV series to know where this was going... I ignored the guy, but I guess that if a girl ignores you it means she wants you (of course not! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU MEN?), because he kept on talking to me, saying, "I don't bite. Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you. I just want to give you a lift babe". This kept on going for like two blocks, I was starting to wonder where the police was and that I should call the police, but I saw that we were approaching the firefighter station, and he must have seen it also because by this point he started honking. Finally, he gave up and said, "Well then, FUCK YOU!" as he threw an opened water bottle at me. Yes, it had water in it. Yes, it was almost full. Yes, my shirt and hair got wet. When I got home, my sister asked why I was wet. After I told her the whole story, she laughed for half an hour, made jokes about it for another half an hour and asked for an hour "who does that?". Yes, my sister isn't the 'supportive' type. But, at least I laughed about the incident and ever since then this became my 'ice breaker story'. Hope you enjoyed it.

Disclaimers:
-This is NOT intended to be racist.
-The things the creepy man said have been translated from Spanish to English for you. I enjoy finding the exact or the literal translation of stuff. Have fun guessing what he said in Spanish!


Yes, this is a true story. Ever since this happened I wear the hood of my sweater, baggy pants, and earphones with screamo music I specifically downloaded for when I walk. I raise the volume all the way up on my phone so the music can blast of my earphones and anyone passing by can hear it and *hopefully* they'll think I'm satanist or something. [YES, this is a stereo-type, but I live in a very 'traditional-catholic-Hispanic' area and this is regarded, to the elders and most ignorant non-tolerant people, as "satanic"] In any case, the music will distract me enough from hearing the sorts of things those people say. It, however, doesn't stop the desperate men from almost breaking there next's from turning around. Oh, well. Think about ways we could avoid this situation. One day I'll just wear a bag with holes for my eyes.
But somehow I feel like this what attract more attention...
What do you think?