back from the ashes.

what's up? have you guys ever felt that you need some friends because they meant the world to you, then suddenly they decide its best to ignore you? well I would call, but my phone is dead. I've been bad at memorizing phone numbers all my life, so I have no idea of their number. So I guess this is it. I just hope they understand what it means. I do. I understand it means I failed them somehow and even all their words that our friendship meant more than what it is were false. I guess cowardice is really blocking someone without teling them why. Friends are hard to come by, but i know I'll make more. maybe not the same ones who laughed with me, and ignored me until the last day like last year, but i guess. Things change and people change editor-san. I just hope one day you don't regret your decision, like im regretting mine of not looking for you and not talking to you on your page because then you blocked me, and try to add me like one of my friends some four years back. I really thought this would last forever, I guess not.
Time to move on.


So on another note, I havent found a job and its sad sad but oh well. I'm thinking about getting a job in my local downtown even two if I have to. I have to attend college orientacion soon, and a chose a date that was really far off so I dont have to find certain people. I'm thinking about transfering to another college.  by that will come later. so far I've spent time with my time with my boyfriend who has chastisied me about being depressed about my friends. well 'friends'. So he gave me back my ipod and let me download books into it. I feel like such a pirate. So ive been gathering music and books to fit it into my back pack. Also I have to retrieve the sd memory card with pictures of my 'friends'. good think i still have that picture that I was supposed to delete of the year book amongst other face shots. {ooops} meanwhile I will cry to those pictures.


I can't wait to start orientacion and meet new people or old people. I've been talking to some of my old best friends lately and they seem chill. I even found out one of my friends had a wedding or more like is going to have one. good for her, and I wish her the best. I won't be able to attend though, I'm  a little too far.

I've been waiting to go see the Great Gatsby, which certain friends said we were gonna go, which they probably went without me anyway, so I guess I'll watch it alone or with my boyfriend. Right now, I'm craving lots of candy and even a cake. God damm it , that¿s why I'm fat.

I've been having to deal with myself alot but sooner or later I'll get over it. once I get a job i'll buy a smartphone and I'll be able to blog more. I still haven't gotten used to windows 8 on my new laptop.

'stay tuned' i guess for more updates.